Parent stoppers are emergency fixes to move us back into the adult and prevent the parent internal dialogue. They are first aid exercises to rescue the battered child.
- Break the body set – physically relax
- Be in the here and now – look around and say what you see out loud (present awareness = adult)
- Exaggerate the problem – how could it have been worse?
- Physical exertion – tired? Take a walk, feel the body working
- Have a haven
- Have a sound screen – a music haven
- Go off on tangents – look around, what are you reminded of?
- Talk with someone
- Consider others – they may have coped with worse
- Make faces at yourself in the mirror
- Take a nap
- Pray
…then get the adult into gear to effect some change, parent-stoppers are only temporary solutions. Change in behaviour will lead to change in feelings.