Parent protection
- Withdrawal
- Dont get involved
- Shyness
- Passivity
- Intimidation
- Intellectualisation
- Ritual
These rob us of strokes, push away people, create distance safe but sorry
Adult protection
Protects child without losing strokes or pushing people away
- Eye contact keeps in here and now and prevents parent kicking in
- Reading people (active listening) has he hooked his parent > bring the adult back
- Predicting behaviour not judging
- Options what would happen if when things are going well
Contracts
- Not one-way
- There is something in it for the child of both parties
- Contract is made adult-adult contracting when emotional (child-child) doesnt work
- The contract is equitable mutual win if kept and mutual loss if broken
- Contract is simple but not too simple
- Breaking the contract is stated in terms of consequences not punishment
- It is written
- It is renegotiable if it is not working it could be because people or situations have changed