Parent shrinkers

Parent-dominated people are rewarded in childhood for perfect conformity, obedience and compliance. Difficult to move them from their “continuous recording, which is self-perpetuating.

Critical parent	Yes/no answers Afraid underneath
Nurturing parent	Parent does not think or listen, makes us feel oppressed When a parent-originated statement is crossed by an adult response it cannot continue Being parent protects your child

Parent shrinkers

Move another persons parent to child or adult so that here and now communication can proceed. Should be used from adult.

• Cross the transaction eg: “can you tell me what you plan to do?”
• Agree – if he is right
• Go off on a tangent
• Cheers – positive feedback to comment
• Silence
• Move in – into his space bubble
• Change your mind – if relevant
• “Could you please say it another way?”
• Ricochet – positive feedback to a third person
• Write it down
• Find his child and feed it – “how would you change to make it feel good?”
• Be ok