Skip to content
You are not listening to me when …
- you do not care about me
- you say you understand me before you know me well enough
- you have an answer to my problem before I’ve finished speaking
- you look frightened by or disapproving of, what I am telling you, you finish my sentence for me
- you find me boring
- you feel critical of my vocabulary, grammar or accent
- you are dying to tell me something
- you tell me about your experience, making mine seem unimportant
- you are communicating to someone else in the room
- you refuse my thanks, saying you haven’t really done anything
- you follow your own thoughts & memories when they are triggered by my words.
You are listening to me when
- you come quietly into my private world and let me be
- you really tiny to understand me, even if I’m not making much sense
- you grasp my point of view, even when it is against your own sincere convictions
- you allow me the dignity of making my own decisions even though you think they might be wrong
- you do not take my problem from me, but allow me to deal with it in my own way
- you hold back your desire to give me good advice
- you give me enough room to discover for myself what is really going on
- you accept my gift of gratitude by telling me how good it makes you feel to know you have been helpful.
