- Long rambling statements
- Fill-in words ‘maybe’
- Frequent justifications
- Apologies and ‘permission’ seekers
- ‘I should’ ‘I ought’
- Few ‘I’ statements (often qualified)
- Phrases that dismiss own needs: ‘not important really’
- Self put downs ‘I am hopeless’
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- Statements that are brief, clear and to the point
- ‘I’ statements: I’d like’
- Distinctions between fact and opinion
- Suggestions not weighted with ‘advice’
- No ‘shoulds’ or ‘oughts’
- Constructive ‘criticism’ without blame or assumptions
- Question to find out the thoughts, opinions, wants of others
- Ways for getting round problems
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- Excess of ‘I’ statements
- Boastfulness ‘My’
- Opinions expressed as facts
- Threatening questions
- Requests as instructions or threats
- Heavily weighted advice in the form of ‘should’ and ‘ought’
- Blame put on others
- Assumptions
- Sarcasm and other put downs
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